Model: Word Game

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This is an easy word game called What if/Then. We asked people to submit two sentences. First, a question starting with “what if.” Next, an answer starting with “then.” Example: What if we kissed at Bloomers? Then that would be hot. Once we received everyone’s answers, Caleb (AKA Playleb) rearranged them. Someone’s “what if” got paired with another person’s “then,” and vice versa. Playleb made custom playing cards of our responses that he could modulate for a unique performance at Bloomers Poetry Club. Once he got to the end of the deck, he flipped the cards over and read them again in reverse order. This is a recreation of the process using different pairings that I shuffled myself. Some lines were edited to fit gramatically. It’s the nature of the game that certain pairs seem inextricably linked, while others were clearly thrown at each other.
— Judy Thorn

What if we went to space?
Then we wouldn’t be here.

What if we robbed a bank?
Then I would be late.

What if everyone pushed in their fucking chair when they were done sitting and about to walk away?
Then the world would be a much better place.

What if dinosaurs roamed the streets?
Then they’d be too powerful.

What if we danced all night?
Then I’d spend my time a different way.

What if we ate the fruit?
Then I would turn mint green.

What if we all had a choice?
Then we’d risk dying in the emptiness.

What if we were in a video game rn?
Then we probably would have more available meat.

What if we were both worms?
Then we’d miss each other.

What if God was in Minecraft?
Then let’s have fun in the video game!

What if the sky fell flower in the night?
Then I wouldn’t complain about the federal minimum wage.

What if I quit my job?
Then the birds would still sing.

What if you gave me an apple?
Then would you make beef stew?

What if I could take it all back?
Then what?

What if you weren’t allowed to turn right at red lights?
Then that would be fucked up huh?

What if we ate 40 Warheads Extra Sour Van Holten’s Pickles Lady and the Tramp style?
Then I think I might have an idea…

What if all the rulers were wrong?
Then all that moves one to tears would be different.

What if we missed our flights?
Then you would find out that you don’t like clams.

What if I wanted to be the last worm?
Then nothing would matter ever again.

What if the aliens came to assimilate us into a digital hive mind?
Then we’ll make it a monument.

What if we hiked the Camino de Santiago?
Then I wouldn’t have a job.

What if I ran away?
Then we’d hold hands while we throw up.

What if lesbians were real?
Then we could cruise at Chili’s.

What if the light in your eyes pours into my heart?
Then that would be the world.

What if people bought my art?
Then that would be great.

What if I went?
Then we would cultivate the soil together.

What if I asked you to marry me?
Then I will think about you every day.

What if I did it to be funny?
Then we would need our dresses.

What if funnels were made of Bible paper?
Then delight tracks the season’s turn.

What if we huffed poppers at Barn?
Then made out.

What if we went to the bathroom together?
Then did this all again tomorrow.

What if everything was okay?
Then it would be over.

What if your cat could understand you the whole time?
Then would the laughter come back?

What if all the birds fell out of the sky?
Then we would all make one to become.

What if you went clamming?
Then we would get milk everywhere.

What if there was more?
Then what? Communism?

What if I started flossing?
Then it’s still a misdemeanor, ma’am.

What if an onion was a princess?
Then she would be Blocky instead of Clocky.

What if we all craved somewhere to be?
Then we would have to do the singing.

What if no more hot showers?
Then I would abide the law … jk!

What if we ran into each other on the bus, went to the sauna, bought the big jug of mango kombucha bc it didn’t have Supergirl on the label (sellout), came back to your house, smoked a joint, and made vision boards?
Then I’d really be able to loosen up.

What if that were it?
Then I’d take it.

What if bugs were the size of skyscrapers?
Then it would take a lot of effort to take off her gowns at night.

What if I stopped thinking?
Then they’d read this out loud.

What if I fart during my acupuncture session?
Then keep stretching.

What if people are often wonderful?
Then we could be pilgrims together.

What if life did give you some lemons?
Then fry your eggplants, bozo!

What if fish could remember?
Then it would matter.

What if we slayed and it tore?
Then I could tell you the color of your iris, and you could see brightly how full you make me.

What if serendipity smelled like aged Swiss?
Then I wouldn’t get eaten.

What if everyone was neurodivergent?
Then my dentist would be less mad about the cigarette habit.

What if existence wasn’t real?
Then I would have a snack for later.

What if contraptions couldn’t maim so easily?
Then only cool waters and smooth sailing from now on.

What if lightning struck twice?
Then we could chat at the club.

What if we replaced steering wheels with hot dogs?
Then I could afford to buy art.

What if I spent an hour thinking of a sentence?
Then we’d be sore tomorrow.

What if all we are is left to meander?
Then I would welcome digitization with open arms and a smile on my face.

What if I fell asleep right now cuz I really want to?
Then you’d have to come find me.

What if the goal really does fall short of the reach?
Then we would be in trouble.

What if I chose myself?
Then I would miss the RSVP opening.

What if we cheers in the dark?
Then we would still be here.

What if my shirt got stained?
Then that would be rebellious.

What if we said goodbye?
Then I’d wonder what you meant by that.

What if flowers could speak?
Then it was probably just waiting for you to ask.

What if we forgot tomorrow?
Then that would be the perfect day.